I missed it. I missed what’s probably the greatest day in the history of Twitter—what will always be remembered as the day of 30-50 feral hogs. It’s a meme so perfect that literally anybody can make a solid tweet out of it, and pretty much everybody on Twitter has been doing just that from yesterday afternoon through right now. Like, it’s still happening this very instant, and yes, it’s still actually funny.
If you, like me, missed out on this as it first flowered into being, let’s do a quick recap. Yesterday the musician Jason Isbell tweeted a common sense statement about assault rifles in the wake of this past weekend’s horrific shootings. Nobody outside his fans ever would’ve noticed this, if it wasn’t for one specific reply taking issue with Isbell’s stance. William McNabb, a resident of Arkansas (and proud Western Carolina Catamount) shattered Isbell’s statement with a familiar everyday scenario that can clearly only be resolved with high-powered assault rifles.
Legit question for rural Americans – How do I kill the 30-50 feral hogs that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play?— William McNabb (@WillieMcNabb) August 4, 2019Never has Twitter seen such a savage dunk. How could Isbell, or anybody for that matter, counter such crystal clear, irrefutable proof for the necessity of assault rifles?
Well, by making fun of it, of course.
From there Twitter became a fertile breeding ground for these 30-50 feral hogs and every possible permutation of the same basic joke. They're all great. These are the best.
These are unthinkable times. Frightening, maddening, soul-deadening times. And yet, every once in a while, 30-50 feral hogs run into our yard and remind us what it means to be human. Thank you, @WillieMcNabb, and thank you, feral hogs.
My yard can only fit, like, 4 feral hogs, tops. 30-50? Must be nice!— Caissie St.Onge (@Caissie) August 6, 2019It seems today's kids would rather hear about 30-50 feral hogs than the 30-50 days Jesus spent going hog wild in the desert — pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) August 6, 2019don't go chasing feral hogs,
please stick to the 30-50 regular hogs that you're used to…— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 6, 2019Today will go down in history as the day the entire internet came together over a single perfect joke, impeccable in its every iteration, universally revered, funny every time.
Globally, there was consensus: the world could very well end now, because we got our 30-50 feral hogs— you cant cancel me i quit (@whysimonewhy) August 6, 2019Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred and 30-50 feral hogs
How do you measure, measure a yard — Lizzie Molyneux (@LizzieMolyneux) August 6, 2019A Google Chrome plugin that replaces "Senate Republicans" with "30-50 feral hogs".— Andrew Thaler (@DrAndrewThaler) August 6, 2019It was so terrible, we used to listen to people tell stories about crimes to relax, and every now and then an egg would be bigger than before, or there'd be 30-50 feral hogs and that was our only source of joy. -me describing now to my nonexistent grandkids— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) August 6, 2019ME: come over
30-50 FERAL HOGS: can't
ME: my small kids have been playing in the yard for 3-5 mins
30-50 FERAL HOGS: pic.twitter.com/Ug001ArgyL— Hoodie Skull (@spookyDichotomy) August 6, 2019Legit question for medieval saints – How do I kill the 30-50 feral hogs that run into my room within 3-5 mins while I am doing holy things?
(BnF, MS Français 50, f. 265v) pic.twitter.com/nFXgKvdCq6— Erik Wade (@erik_kaars) August 6, 2019Alright, we've got to get this straight because people seem confused-
if you're 1-17 you're Gen Z
If you're 17-30 you're Millenials
If you're 30-50 you're feral hogs and best not touch my children— Nicholas Kole Lightbox Expo (@FromHappyRock) August 6, 2019stages of Feral Hog Twitter
1. confusion seeing everyone tweet “30 to 50 feral hogs”
2. find the tweet & assume it's satire
3. read the tweet again & realize it's for real
4. like and RT only feral hog tweets for 12 hrs straight
5. become 30 to 50 feral hogs— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) August 6, 2019Legit question for rural Americans – How do we kill the man and small kids that are playing in our running space?— 30-50 Feral Hogs (@FattMernandez) August 6, 2019sometime in the future 30-50 Feral Hogs Day will be a bold-faced item in an 8th grade US history textbooks as the day we regained sanity— Johnny McNulty (@JohnnyMcNulty) August 6, 201930-50 Feral Hogs = -20 Feral Hogs— Think of Me as Fabulous Scum (@AlexFirer) August 6, 2019A nuclear FAMILY is a FATHER, a MOTHER, and 30-50 FERAL HOGS— Hana Michels (@HanaMichels) August 6, 2019In LA I'm like a 5 or a 6. In the Midwest I'm a solid 30-50 feral hogs.— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 5, 2019“Winona's 30-50 feral hogs” is my favorite PRIMUS song.— Jonah Ray Rodrigues (@jonahray) August 5, 2019dennis miller is going to read up on the 30-50 feral hogs over the next couple of days and will have a few brutally mean jokes about them by wednesday— blaine capatch (@blainecapatch) August 6, 2019Okay, go kill 30-50 feral hogs within 3-5 minutes while your small kids play, c/o me and @HanaMichels [C8F-GY3-9WG] pic.twitter.com/YV8xy3h0vU— Think of Me as Fabulous Scum (@AlexFirer) August 5, 2019Be the 30-50 feral hogs you want to see in the yard— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) August 5, 2019BREAKING: 30-50 feral hogs the only attendees at John Delaney campaign event— The Give Smart Guy (@BobbyBigWheel) August 5, 2019Yes I grew up in rural America, and yes every day our yard filled up with 30-50 feral hogs. But to me, they were friends.— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) August 5, 2019“Hey grandma, it's me. I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to make dinner. (Pause) Yes, it's the 30-50 feral hogs.”— ennuian karmel (@IanKarmel) August 5, 2019