Here is the trailer for the upcoming movie based on Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cats musical. Warning: looking at it for too long might drive you insane.
I have nothing else to say about that. I don’t know what anybody could say about that. That’s ironic, yes, because this entire piece is just a collection of what people have had to say about this trailer. That’s the power of the Cats trailer: It simultaneously leaves you speechless while also driving you to tweet about it incessantly.
If this messed up world doesn’t kill us first, Cats will clearly finish the job when it opens on Dec. 20.
Here are the best tweets about Cats. They’re all perfect and yet all somehow lacking. Making fun of Cats is the easiest thing in the world but it’s also truly impossible. Nobody can make fun of Cats because Cats is utterly impervious to everything. Never has humanity made something that’s so thoroughly unconcerned with whether anybody in the world actually asked for it or not. That confidence is so charming, so commanding, that it somehow made Cats one of the hugest musicals ever. Cats doesn’t care if we like it or not, and that’s why so many people love it.
Anyway, read the tweets, already.
Please stop saying the plot of Cats is confusing. The plot of Cats is that they’re cats and they introduce themselves until one of them gets permission to die.— Louis Peitzman (@LouisPeitzman) July 18, 2019
in a way, i’m glad grumpy cat never had to see this— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) July 18, 2019
“Did I… make this?” – Terry Gilliam watching the CATS trailer— Richard Lawson (@rilaws) July 18, 2019
That Cats trailer looks like SNL gave The Lonely Island 30 million to shoot the stupidest Digital Short they could imagine.— Guy Endore-Kaiser (@GuyEndoreKaiser) July 18, 2019
CATS (2019) pic.twitter.com/AvqCp2qrd8— Casey Don’t Have A Name (@CaseyMalone) July 18, 2019
Is our reaction to Cats gonna be the thing that unites us in these broken days?— Riley Silverman SDCC (@rileyjsilverman) July 18, 2019
THE CATS ARE TOO SMALL!!! I REPEAT, THE CATS ARE TOO SMALL!!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/z7IGQYFDCQ— Nicole Silverberg (@nsilverberg) July 18, 2019
These are the only cats I hate.— Desi (@DesiJed) July 18, 2019
“We’ll give them human bodies, but make them the size of cats.” The decree of a true madman— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) July 18, 2019
How did you get real cats to do all this— Chris Scott (@iamchrisscott) July 18, 2019
I will give the Cats movie credit for one thing, they managed to make one of the all time stupidest musicals even stupider.— Desi (@DesiJed) July 18, 2019
Cats: The Musical. pic.twitter.com/GLWUkFn7fh— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) July 18, 2019
the James Cordon cat is giving me a panic attack pic.twitter.com/snDc9PzwXd— Ryan Broderick (@broderick) July 18, 2019
personally I’m glad the lady cats have hooters— tom schwartz’s transition lenses (@rachelmillman) July 18, 2019
I don’t know why you’re all freaking out over miniature yet huge cats with human celebrity faces and sexy breasts performing a demented dream ballet for kids.— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) July 18, 2019
i need all furries on deck and replying to this. give me your thoughts on the cats trailer. please pitch your analysis to any publication that will pay you what you’re deserved. we need your guidance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!— tom schwartz’s transition lenses (@rachelmillman) July 18, 2019
Just read the plot of Cats on Wikipedia and it is like somebody tried to transcribe a dream seconds after waking up from wisdom tooth surgery.— Ben Collins (@oneunderscore__) July 18, 2019
If we can get the cast of CATS to storm Area 51 everything will work out— scharpling (@scharpling) July 18, 2019
Two hours of James Corden running around, “Look at meeeeee! I’m a cat! Ha ha!”— Mike Ryan (@mikeryan) July 18, 2019
I truly admire the Cats movie for not deviating from the creepy, ostentatious, and insufferable vision of the Cats Broadway play— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) July 18, 2019
Idris Elba in Cats? More like “string or bell”!— Justin Shanes (@justinshanes) July 18, 2019
On the optimistic side, I CAN imagine these cats eating someone’s face off after they die.— Dan Telfer (@dantelfer) July 18, 2019
Cats is going to be the greatest movie of all time— Megan Amram (@meganamram) July 18, 2019
Disgusting to know that many of my followers are currently masturbating to the Cats trailer— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) July 18, 2019
If I am dating you and you are checking my Twitter LOOK AWAY NOW. It’s going to be a lot of deeply repellent “Cats” content for a few days. Or at least remember me as you knew me then, not as you see me meow.— Eliza Skinner @ Union Hall Aug 9 NYC (@elizaskinner) July 18, 2019
I’m unfollowing everyone not tweeting about CATS.— Eric Appel (@erockappel) July 18, 2019
the cats movie is going to singlehandedly revive the “i saw a movie while drunk or on drugs here is my piece on it” industrial complex and I am HERE to be a COG in the MACHINE— tom schwartz’s transition lenses (@rachelmillman) July 18, 2019
Anyway, who wants to get high with me and watch Cats on Christmas Day?— Desi (@DesiJed) July 18, 2019
Erin Ryan (@morninggloria) probably has the best single thread about it. Enjoy.
Is this like the Jeffrey Epstein’s hedge fund of Hollywood movies in that everybody involved did something horrible and was blackmailed into it— Erin Ryan (@morninggloria) July 18, 2019
you buy the cast a bed. the cast falls asleep in an amazon prime day box you meant to take to the recycling. the cast stays there all day and into the night. at 4 am, you wake up to the cast extending a single claw into your scalp, over and over again.— Erin Ryan (@morninggloria) July 18, 2019
you’re never quite sure if the cast loves you or depends on you or, if in the cast’s mind, there’s any difference. one day you realize the cast is getting old and every day you think of your life without the cast, and you want to weep— Erin Ryan (@morninggloria) July 18, 2019
the cast looks at you, gives you a long blink, and licks its own asshole— Erin Ryan (@morninggloria) July 18, 2019