You can tell the TV season is in full swing since there were a plethora of terrific TV quips to pick from this month.
Our trusty cadre of staff and contributors scoured the TV landscape, leaving no network, cable or streaming show unturned. Here are our picks for the best TV quotes this month. And remember, if you hear a great TV quote, write me at firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet me at @AmyTVGal and you just might see your favorite quote here next month.
“I didn’t even set an alarm for Harry’s wedding. My body just knew.” Dylan (Kyla Kenedy) confessing her love of the royal family to Kenneth (Cedric Yarbrough) in “L-O-N—LONDON: Part 1” (Episode 3.01).
The Good Place
“No, this is the journalism department.” Janet (D’Arcy Carden) explaining to Michael (Ted Danson) that the abandoned floor they’re on is not just for storage in “The Snowplow” (Episode 3.03).
“Let’s just say that James Franco and I didn’t end well.” Peach (Shay Mitchell) in “Living with the Enemy” (Episode 1.05).
“There are so many other professions / that don’t turn you into Jeff Sessions.” Jim (Burl Moseley), from the musical number “Don’t Be a Lawyer,” in “I’m on My Own Path” (Episode 4.03).
“All my sex ghosts in this graveyard!” Kelli (Natasha Rothwell) at a cemetery film screening in “Ghost-Like” (Episode 3.08). [Editor’s note: Yes, we know the season finale of Insecure aired last month—after our list of September’s best quotes was published—but we loved Kelli’s bon mot so much we grandfathered it in.]
“Murphy would cut Shannon down to size. Just like she did with Jeff Sessions. He used to be six feet. Now he sleeps in an acorn.” Corky (Faith Ford) on how Murphy (Candice Bergen) would handle an interview with a right-wing radical in “Three Shirts to the Wind” (Episode 11.04).
“You’re the obvious choice to take over for mom. You already live here and you’re a scary little tyrant.” Becky (Alicia Goranson) to Darlene (Sara Gilbert) in “Keep on Truckin’” (Episode 1.01).
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
“Where’s Aunt Hilda?” Ambrose Spellman (Chance Perdomo)
“She annoyed me. So I killed her. And buried her in the yard.” Zelda Spellman (Miranda Otto) in “Chapter Two: The Dark Baptism.”
“Maggie, our spells rely on a system of balance. So when magic is used for personal gain—say, to wallow in the superficiality of the Greek system or to live your best life on the Snapchat—I can assure you, there will be personal consequences.” Harry (Rupert Evans) in “Sweet Tooth” (Episode 1.03).
The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell
“They say the fastest way to a man’s heart is with a power saw.” Christine as she hefts some surprise machinery while laying her excessively festive table for a mystery man she met in the graveyard, in “The Dinner Date” (Episode 1.03).
“That electric rocker thingy? You’ll need it so you don’t have to hold the baby when you sit down to cry into both hands.” Katie (Katy Mixon) to a pregnant Viv (Leslie Bibb), giving her some of her old baby things and a reality check in “Trust Me” (Episode 3.05).
Will & Grace
“He needs to live his truth and you need to support him.” Will (Eric McCormack) to Jack (Sean Hayes) about Jack’s grandson wanting to sing “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend” at a church talent show.
“That all makes sense in America. But this is Texas.” Jack in “Tex and the City” (Episode 10.03).
“The day that every woman realizes how strong she really is, is the day that will bring peace on earth.” Athena (Angela Bassett) in “Awful People” (Episoe 2.05).
This Is Us
“Me, him and Toby have a text chain. It’s mostly GIFs, but sometimes we talk about how messed up you all are.” Beth (Susan Kelechi Watson) to her husband, Randall (Sterling K. Brown), when he’s surprised his wife talks to his step-father Miguel (Jon Huertas) in “Katie Girls” (Episode 3.03).
Amy Amatangelo, the TV Gal®, is a Boston-based freelance writer, a member of the Television Critics Association and the Assistant TV Editor for Paste. She wasn’t allowed to watch much TV as a child and now her parents have to live with this as her career. You can follow her on Twitter (@AmyTVGal) or her blog .