Normally I write a lazy, cynical little intro before these things, a few paragraphs that give you context through dad jokes, but that primarily exist to just take up some space before the embeds start. (The literary merit of the tweet gallery intro is minimal.) I don’t think I can do that today, though.
As Paste’s Roger Sollenberger wrote earlier today, Trump’s press conference with Putin amounted to treason. Our president offered full support to Putin, a despot whose country directly fucked with our elections in order to hopefully put that president in office. Trump took Putin’s side against the US’s own intelligence agencies, who all agree that Russia actively tried to sway the 2016 election. Obama was heavily criticized for his entire presidency by the right for some kind of “global apology” tour that only happened in their heads; meanwhile their guy goes out of his way to piss off America’s allies and suck up to a dangerous tyrant like Putin, and it’s still impossible to think the Republicans or their base will try to hold it against Trump in any meaningful way. This might be the ultimate case of It’s Okay if You’re a Republican ever seen: that farcical excuse apparently extends all the way up to presidents who defends foreign rivals over America’s long-time allies and own institutions.
Anyway: tweets. Here are some funny ones. This Trump/Putin shindig obviously dominated social media all day long, and so there are some solid tweets worth devoting one second a piece to. Take a look at ‘em below during the breaks in your “learn how to speak Russian” cassette.
Putin’s late because the meeting with his poisoning people went long.— Andy Kindler (@AndyKindler) July 16, 2018
The guys who spent 8 years pretending Obama was apologizing for America seem okay with Trump apologizing to Putin for America making Russia hack us.— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) July 16, 2018
TRUMP: Say itTRANSLATOR [sighing deeply]: President Putin, the pundits were saying there was no path to 270. But if you look at this electoral map,— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) July 16, 2018
I’ve obtained a leaked transcript of the Trump/Putin summit. Fascinating stuff: pic.twitter.com/9snnLXuPdV— popular comedy account “the pixelated boat” (@pixelatedboat) July 16, 2018
HOT TAKE: STANDING NEXT TO A DICTATOR AND SAYING YOU BELIEVE HIM OVER EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN INTELLIGENCE AGENCY IS MORE DISRESPECTFUL TO LAW ENFORCEMENT THAN NOT STANDING FOR A DAMN THEME SONG— Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) July 16, 2018
on one hand, this trump/putin press conference is obviously terrible. on the other, i too get flustered and incoherent when i meet one of my heroes.— b-boy bouiebaisse (@jbouie) July 16, 2018
Trump meeting with Putin is the most brazen betrayal of American values since Eisenhower made a captive nation watch him eat a whole American flag, casually ripping off pieces and dipping them in ranch dressing while perched nude atop the lap of the Lincoln Memorial.— Wendy Molyneux (@WendyMolyneux) July 16, 2018
putin stole trump’s phone in the club and is walking around fake helping him look for it— Desus Nice (@desusnice) July 16, 2018
TRUMP: There is no collusion. Russia never hacked the election.PUTIN: But if we did, it’s hilariousTRUMP: It is a ridiculous allegation with no proof.PUTIN: His own idiot son released emails saying it happened lolTRUMP: I easily defeated Hillary Clinton.PUTIN: Look at him— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) July 16, 2018
I don’t know why Trump went all the way to Helsinki to meet Putin when they could have just FaceTimed. pic.twitter.com/Cq0MhglF26— edgarwright (@edgarwright) July 16, 2018
It seems crazy that Trump would share the evidence our intelligence agencies has collected against Russia with Vladimir Putin, but I’m sure he has his treasons.— Nick Jack Pappas (@Pappiness) July 16, 2018
Looking forward to a bunch of congressional Republicans reacting to the Trump-Putin press conference like an MLB manager after an early season loss— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) July 16, 2018
“We owned those libs. We owned them so hard,” I whisper to my friend as we sit in a makeshift gulag in Putin’s United Soviets of America.— Marie Connor (@thistallawkgirl) July 16, 2018
I’m going to hold off on casting judgement on the Trump/Putin Helsinki summit until I hear Sean Hannity’s take.— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) July 16, 2018
I’m starting to think that the guy who praised Saddam Hussein’s efficiency for killing “terrorists” and defends Vladimir Putin might not have America’s best interests at heart.— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 16, 2018
Today was the day Vladimir Putin finally became President— Jules Suzdaltsev (@jules_su) July 16, 2018
The most poignant part of the press conference was when Putin, realizing the person he’s outwitting is actually an elderly man-child in the tragic throes of dementia, cradled Trump while brushing his hair and softly singing to him.— Dan Ewen (@VaguelyFunnyDan) July 16, 2018
Putin says Russia did not attack the US, and will help investigate. Also, Gargamel has offered to help investigate why Smurfs keep disappearing.— Matt Fernandez (@FattMernandez) July 16, 2018
For all the shit we give Trump & Putin, you gotta admit: they are full of charisma. pic.twitter.com/42Y63zGoBE— Dumb Idiot Riley Fox (@riley_fox) July 16, 2018