Today in internet news, there’s a parody Mike Pence presidential campaign website that everyone’s talking about. Look, here it is: www.officialmikepence.com. Don’t click on it yet though.
There’s a lot that’s funny about the site, for instance, how it’s titled “Mike Pence is President,” or the thing about how Jesus is his running mate, or this judiciously edited campaign announcement:
I wouldn’t recommend spending more than a few minutes on Mike Pence is President, on account of how prolonged exposure to images of Mike Pence are directly correlated with increased brain atrophy in clinical test subjects. But I would recommend that in those few minutes you check out Mike Facts, featuring such facts as:
•Mike Pence played baseball in high school until he suffered blunt trauma to his right testicle when a baseball hit it, rupturing the protective covering surrounding the right testicle as well as a contusion to the major blood vessel that, of course, resulted in massive bleeding and prolonged bruising that forced paramedics to cut through his baseball pants in the middle of a junior varsity game against high school rival Glen Oaks high school. All the girls at Mike’s high school were there and saw his bleeding bruised testicle and ruptured genitals. He played second base.
…and “What I Ate,” a totally normal food diary. There’s also a mailing list signup at the bottom; I didn’t bite, because Big Brother is everywhere and nobody can be trusted, but if you sign up please do let me know what happens, if anything happens.
Did you make this website? Are you “The People For Mike Pence”? Let me know if you are, that would be a cool scoop. Not that cool but kinda cool. I’ll probably forward you to our politics editors, honestly this kinda stuff is pretty boring to me. No, but, good job with the satire, and here’s hoping Mike Pence is president soon, dear god.