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Democrats Set to Unveil Terrible New Slogan for 2018, Internet Reacts

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America has been anxiously awaiting the new Democratic slogan ahead of the 2018 elections (note: this is sarcasm), and, at last, our wait is over:

So inspiring! We are already very excited to be trained to become individual moles in Warren Buffett’s personal life-sized whac-a-mole game, part-time, for $13/hour with partial health benefits and no worker’s comp.

That may be a trifle unfair, but this is a classic move by the Democrats—antiseptic, cautious, and not at all compelling. It also, within the first two words, condescends to voters and softly chides them for needing “better skills.” Weirdly, it only references one facet of their campaign, and though “jobs” is clearly a big one, you’d think if they were going to highlight specific issues, perhaps healthcare would merit a mention? We’re no experts, but that seems pretty relevant lately.

It should come as no surprise that it’s also the result of months of deep thought:

Another member noted that this is the result of months of polling and internal deliberations among the House Democratic caucus— Jeff Stein (@JStein_Vox) July 20, 2017
Amazingly, the origin of the slogan may have been Mr. Excitement himself: Tim Kaine!

They're really adopting a slogan from Tim Kaine?— Jonathan Cohn (@JonathanCohn) July 20, 2017
Here's some more Internet reaction:

No one over 30 wants "better skills", they want job security & healthcare & not to have to worry about paying $34T for their kids college.— Adam H. Johnson (@adamjohnsonNYC) July 20, 2017
At least two more years of poor-shaming bootstrap bullshit where McKinsey & Co. consultants tell textile workers to learn how to code— Adam H. Johnson (@adamjohnsonNYC) July 20, 2017
Gutsy plan to run the ossoff campaign nationwide let's see if it pays off— Hippo (@InternetHippo) July 20, 2017
Democrat's 2018 Slogan: Learn to Code or Die, You Fucking Disgusting Plebs— Matt Saccaro (@MattSaccaro) July 20, 2017
That the Dems couldn't just say "Better Jobs, Better Wages" without leading off with "Better Skills" is incredibly telling— Will ???? Menaker (@willmenaker) July 20, 2017
Excited about the new Dem slogan “You're Not Good Enough, That's Why You're Struggling, Maybe You Should Try Taking a Class or Something?”— Gabriel Roth (@gabrielroth) July 20, 2017
Democrats 2018: Code or Die— Matt Christman (@cushbomb) July 20, 2017
"Better skills" is the really bad part. It's condescending and victim-blaming. It's intended to appeal to the bosses, not the workers.— David Klion (@DavidKlion) July 20, 2017
EMERGENCY MEMO TO DIPSHIT DEMS: Do not run with "better skills!"

Do not blame workers for their economic problems.— Michael Sweeney (@mtsw) July 20, 2017
2018 Democrats: Skills to pay YOUR billz! How lit is this slogan, #millenial!— Tommy Vietor (@TVietor08) July 20, 2017
"Better Skills…" sounds like start of a conservative slogan simply castigating workers. Those controlling the economy remain unquestioned.— Daniel José Camacho (@DanielJCamacho) July 20, 2017
"Better skills" is textbook 90s liberalism. If you're poor, it's probably because you didn't learn to code.— Luke Savage (@LukewSavage) July 20, 2017
“Better skills” is blatantly borrowed from the bootstrap language of conservatives. If you're underemployed, fix it yourself! Fuck that— Katherine Krueger (@kath_krueger) July 20, 2017
"Health. Justice. Jobs."— Tom Scocca (@tomscocca) July 20, 2017
"Better skills," placed first on the list, is a pledge to the ownership class that the Democrats won't try to put workers ahead of bosses.— Tom Scocca (@tomscocca) July 20, 2017
better skills, better prison sentences for protesting the occupation of Palestine, better terror of alienating the donor class in any way— slackbot (@pareene) July 20, 2017
EXCLUSIVE: Dems unveil new slogan.— Shaun Richman (@Ess_Dog) July 20, 2017
And of course…

lmao the Democrats got high AF and stole their slogan from a Papa John box

420 y'all lmao— tim ???? (@TimTakesTime) July 20, 2017

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